Monday, October 24, 2005

North Fitzroy Nursing Home to Become Custard Factory

An Inner City Aged Care facility run under the proprietorship of one of Melbourne's biggest charities is to close later this year. The establishment, once a home to the frail and elderly has had to shut its doors, due to funding constraints and pressure to redevelop the site to meet Government accreditation standards. Despite this unfortunate situation for staff and residents, the greater public at large is to benefit from the future progress on the site.

The 'Old Crack House' proprietors yesterday unveiled plans to build on a famous culinary legacy and expand into commercial dessert manufacture. Announced by the board was a strategy that will move the facility from nursing home to a 24 hour a day custard production plant, estimating an average output of 4 gigalitres a year.


Graphic examples of the future development on Nicholson street

Also on display were previews of their new custard, with a spokesman proudly claiming "The recipe lends itself to a style of dessert that most people would find unfamiliar." Once a daily staple for the residents of the facility, the kitchen team feel they have perfected their 'formula' and are ready to take on the commercial market.

William Waygood, our own food editor, had the opportunity to evaluate custard samples on display, yet had few complimentary remarks. "This dessert's colour is a vivid unnatural yellow. It displays a strange 'skin', an upper layer of dried dessert quite impervious to this taster's spoon, while the 'body' has the viscosity and texture of cold phlegm. I can only hope that the nursing home patients didn't have to endure this too often."

Other custard manufacturers seem unthreatened by the venture, a spokeswoman from Sara Lee stating, "It's not the kind of style (of custard) we are familiar with, we feel our consumers will prefer a brand they trust and a flavour they enjoy." Despite these confident words from their potential competition the proprietors talked confidently of expansion to a new development at Eltham.

The proprietors of 'Old Crack House Custard' are keen that a generational legacy will encourage sales of their product claiming, "It's the Custard your grandmother couldn't say no to."

5 Comments:

At 6:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mooreish,yum,yum!!!

 
At 10:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

mrs anonymous said....
see my vest... see my vest... madefrom real gorillas chest.. when the custard factory is up and running will they still need nurses????

 
At 10:56 am, Blogger Rev D 'Tweak' Nichols, North Fitzroy Lancers said...

dont talk to me about nurses
or pvc

bloody wales...

...wheres my brandy?!?

 
At 5:34 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can't believe it's not butter!! no wonder we got skimped to eltham, i always knew management had a plan up their sleeve...all that wine at meetings certainly went to their heads ey!!

 
At 4:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets hope the custard tastes better than the stuff i sampled while at the Nursing Home. Just joking. Anthony

 

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